Government Ministers Sat Down

 

(♫Good King Wenceslas)

 

Government ministers sat down
at a Christmas meeting
to discuss their latest plans
to give our cash a beating. 
They were not at all amused

that poor folk were out shopping

with money scraped from benefits

for pudding and a stocking.

 

"Start spare bedroom tax," said one;
"Problem," said another:
"What to do about the guy
who rents his to his brother?"
"Sort that later," said the third,
"Not urgent: We're not paying,
but we should get more from them

with the least delaying.”
 
"Cut their benefits right back,"
said another man attending.
"Tax them on their children, too:
Let them do the spending!

Heap more tax on everything;

cut health and education;

charge them more for running cars,

and using bus and station.”

           

                                “Splendid!” said the one in charge,

“We’ll make sure that next year

they will have no cash to spare

for turkeys, treats and festive cheer.

Now, we’ll enjoy our Christmastime

and as it’s started snowing,

we should not be home too late

so we must be going.”

 

As they stood, a mouse ran out
from underneath the table;
he turned out the only one
truly wise and able:
"Ministers, you can be sure

these plans will be your downfall:

Both rich and poor will have much less,

and you will have no votes at all.

 
"Bear in mind your posts are not
guaranteed forever:
You must change, be fair, and care;
and that's now or never!”
So, all dwellers in the House,

whatever rank possessing:

Be good to all and heed your mouse,

and votes will be your blessing!

 

 

 

                                     Government Bells

 

(♫Jingle Bells)

 

Jingle bells! Government bells!
Cuts are on the way:
Children's tax,
the Bedroom Tax,
and plenty more to pay.
 
Jingle bells! Commons bells!
Must get fit today:
If we're ill
and need a pill,
the Ministry won't pay.
 

Not so long ago,

we thought we were smart:

Voting for these guys

would bring a brand new start.

We’re much wiser now

that we have so much less:

Cuts for everything

already in a mess.

Jingle bells! Parliament bells!
The ministers are near:
They’ve cuts for schools,
but we were fools
to vote for them last year.
 
Jingle bells! Ring those bells!
Election's on the way!
Hurrah for the dear old ballet box!
Hurrah for voting day!

                                                             

 

 

Santa Tory’s Going To Town

 
(♫ Santa Claus Is Coming To Town)

 

You'd better watch out;
you'd better not buy;
better pay up;
I'm telling you why:
 

Santa Tory's going to town.
 
He's making his cuts;
checking them twice;
he doesn't think
that benefit's nice:
 

Santa Tory's going to town.
 
He sees just where you’re sleeping;
he knows if a bedroom's spare.
That empty bed can’t hide from him:
He knows if no-one's there.
 
If you have any children,
and they number more than two,
you'd better hide the others
or he'll tax you on them, too!

 

He’s waiting now for April:

He’s planned whom he will curse

with lots of extra cuts

to make next Christmas even worse.

 

So, you’d better watch out;

you’d better not buy;

better pay up;

I’m telling you why:

 

Santa Tory’s going to town:

 

YES, NOW!!!

 

 

                                                                                                                              

                                 Government Christmas

 

(♫Merry Christmas Everybody)

 

Did you vote for us thinking you were wise?

Believing that our plans weren’t in disguise?

Did you really think we’d tell you

just what we planned to do

to make you poor and heap more tax on you?

 

So, here it is: Government Christmas!

The ministers have fun

planning more cutbacks,

and they’ve only just begun.

 

You used to think that we were really cool,

but now you know for sure you were a fool:

You never guessed we’d cut back

on benefits for you,

then tax you on your kids and bedrooms, too.

 

So, here it is: Government Christmas!

The ministers have fun

planning more cutbacks,

and they’ve only just begun.

 

                                 If you’re trying really hard to find some work,

we don’t help; just say you really mean to shirk.

You chose us when the others

seemed so hard to take,

but now you know you made a big mistake.

 

So, here it is: Government Christmas!

The ministers have fun

planning more cutbacks,

and they’ve only just begun.

 

Education’s really in a mess;

the NHS is getting even less.

You’re stuck with us for now;

you’d like to have your say,

but you’ll just have to wait for Voting Day.

 

So, here it is: Government Christmas!

The ministers have fun

planning more cutbacks,

and they’ve only just begun.

 

 

The Ministers In Government

 

(♫Away In A Manger)

 

The ministers in government
have proved they don't care:
The changes they're making
are harsh and unfair.
 
They're taxing on spare bedrooms;
cutting benefits, too:
All year they bring misery
for me and for you.
 
They tax us on children
if we've more than two,
and we have no work
because jobs are so few.
 
We're stuck with them for now,
but there will come a day
when we have an election
and can send them away.
 
Then we must in future
take good care to note
that we must choose wisely
when we go to vote.

 

 

             Hark! The Ministers All Cheer

 

(♫ Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)

 

Hark! The ministers all cheer:

“Christmas dinner’s nearly here!”

Gathered in the House today,

they will dine without delay!

Even those who say they’re slimming

will have turkey with all trimming;

feast upon their splendid roast,

while the poor eat beans on toast.

Hark! The ministers all cheer:

“Christmas dinner’s nearly here!”

 

As another year’s beginning,

they’ll be waiting for the Spring

when they’ll make a lot more cuts:

Swing the axe, no ifs or buts.

Tax on rooms and children, too;

cuts in benefits for you;

less to spend on schools and care,

though these changes are unfair.

Hark! The ministers all cheer:

“Welcome to a grand new year!”

 

Now the ministers all fear:

Next election’s drawing near.

They will knock or send a note

asking us to go and vote,

but they’ll find we have to say

that these cuts are not the way:

We’ll choose those who cut the greed,

but spend more where there is need.

Then we’ll hear them all lament:

“We’re the ones who came and went.”
 

 

Christmas Time Is Coming Soon

 

(♫ God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen)

 

Christmas time is coming soon,

and then another year.

Look forward now to Voting Day

when we can make it clear

we’ve had enough of Tory rule

and cutbacks costing dear.

They must change or they'll lose when we vote;

when we vote.

They must change or they'll lose when we vote.

 

They’ve cut back on our benefits,

spent less on health as well.

They’ve introduced a Bedroom Tax

to make poor folks’ lives Hell.

They’re all so bad, which one is worst

is very hard to tell.

They must change or they'll lose when we vote;

when we vote.

They must change or they'll lose when we vote.

 

They have expensive holidays,

big cars and houses too.

They cut back on necessities

for folk like me and you.

They care not for the people;

that’s very plain and true.

They must change or they'll lose when we vote;

when we vote.

They must change or they'll lose when we vote.

 

 

They’re Our Ministers

 

(♫Once In Royal David’s City)

 

They’re our ministers in government,

whose attempts to do their best

to make many voters happy,

and to satisfy the rest,

fail when they sit on the fence

or hatch plans that make no sense.

 

Next year’s cuts in benefit payments

will place more in poverty;

charging us for children and bedrooms

proves that they still fail to see:

Taxing everything in sight

never will make all things right.

 

They’ll cut back on education;

spend much less on health and care;

give less help to the jobless:

All these changes are unfair.

They must curb the common greed,

but spend more on those in need.

 

As another year is dawning,

if they’re wise they will review

all the plans that will only

make life worse for me and you;

and take special care to note:

Those not happy, will not vote!

 

 

 We Ministers

 

(♫We Three Kings)

 

We ministers from Parliament are;
with our cuts, we're going too far:
You’ll not afford gifts and turkey,

and you might lose your car.

 
Oh! We have power, we have might,
but we never use them right.
Make us wise and make us worthy:
Let’s for once do something right!
 
Come New Year, we'll wait for Spring;
then no-one will have a thing:
We'll swing axes,
raise the taxes,
beggar everything.
 
Education's up the wall;
soon there'll be no healthcare at all:
We can't see
that we're surely
heading for a fall.
 
We've never stopped to make a note
that our hope will be remote
if we tax on children,
make you homeless, then
find we need your vote.
 
There's still time for us to review
all the things we plan to do:
If we're fair
and show we really care,
we might still get votes from you.
 

Oh! We have power, we have might,

but we never use them right.

Make us wise and make us worthy:

Let’s for once do something right!!

 

                                                                                                                               

 In The House

 

(♫Deck The Halls)

 

In the House now decked with holly

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

All the ministers are jolly

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Not because of Christmas pudding,

cake, mince pies, and beer,

but because of all the cutbacks

they have planned for us next year.

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

 

At table laid in celebration

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

They feast in joyful contemplation

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Of their own splendid meal

and plans for a country where

those unlucky to be jobless

will not afford festive fare.

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

 

                                See them stand in smart apparel

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

As they sing their cutback carol

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Less for health and education,

tax on children and bedrooms, too.

Cuts in benefits and all things,

and more woe for me and you.

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

 

We hope that by this Christmas morning

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Wisdom will in them be dawning

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

So they’ll see they have to change

and make sure plans are truly fair.

Otherwise, when Voting Day comes

they’ll be out of work, and we won’t care.

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

 

 

                                 Ministers In Parliament

 

(♫Away In A Manger)

 

We’re ministers in Parliament
and we all feel the same:

our mission’s to tackle

the benefits game.
 

The single, the married,
the old and the young:
We'll pauper them all
until our battle is won!

But we must remember,
if we’re truly wise,
to value our voters
and never despise.

They will not respect us

for filling our purse
if poor will be poorer,
and everything’s worse.

On the road to our cuts
for economy's sake,
we must be quite certain
we know when to brake.

We must understand, too,
that we will be out
if fairness to all
is not what we're about.

            

         

                      There Was A Government Minister

 

(♫Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer)

 

There was a government minister
who thought he had a cunning plan
to get as much as he could
out of every ordinary man.
 
All of the other ministers
made sure they were just as bad:
Making everybody poorer
made them all so very glad.
 
Then, one happy Voting Day,
the people turned out to say:
"We've had enough of cutbacks;
You can’t carry on this way!"
 
Oh! How the voters loved it
as they shouted out with glee:
"Now you’re just like us and jobless,
today’s our day for victory!"